Soul Mates...Do They Exist?

How many people think they've found their soulmate?

*raises hand*

With that said, I'll start with a definition. What is a soul mate? According to Webster's dictionary it means:

1 : a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament
2 : a person who strongly resembles another in attitudes or beliefs

Kinda vague...With that definition, do you still think you've found your soul mate?

*raises hand*

Now to me, a soul mate is that person whom you have a connection with that's unexplainable. Like you're both sitting in the room and you know what the other is thinking without either of you saying a word. It's that cosmic connection that allows you to feel their pain/emotions even when you aren't around each other.

From many discussions with friends, I'm finding that this is a rare occurrence. So does that mean that we have the definition screwed up of what a soul mate really is? Say that you're lucky to find that person, does it always mean that you are meant to be together? What if someone has this same connection with more than one person? Are we allowed to have more than one soul mate?

I believe that we can. I think that sometimes soul mates can even be of the same sex. I'm not saying that a person is gay if they find that same-sex soul mate, they might be best friends.

I did an image search on Google for soul mates, and almost every picture depicted a man and woman (sometimes male/female animals) in an intimate position. We are conditioned to think that soul mates have to be this great love.

Now, I know that you're wondering about my soul mate. I think I did find him, he knows who he is. We're best friends and we truly have that connection where we know thoughts without speaking, and even across country, and even seas, we knew what the other was feeling. Yeah, I know you don't believe me, but it's true! We have a lot of the same beliefs and thoughts.

Now this isn't saying that everything is happy-go-lucky either. We don't agree 100% on everything. I can't feel if he gets a paper cut and vice versa lol. We've lost touch a few times over the years, but we keep coming back in contact with each other.

Are we supposed to be together? I'm no fortune teller, nor am I going to pay Miss Cleo (yes she's back lol) or any other psychic to find out. I guess I'm going to play this life thing out and see what God has in store for me.

Talk to me: Do you think that you've found your soul mate? How do you know? Do you think that you're supposed to marry your soul mate? Can people have more than one soul mate?

It's a Thin Line.....

....between researching and stalking! I know what you thought I was going to say, and that is true too, but it doesn't fit with my thoughts today.

Recently, I've had a discussion with some friends about stalking people on the Internet. Let me backtrack..... this came about when I told about how I look up a guy on Facebook, and make sure he's not a registered sex offender if I don't know him (hhmmm maybe I should check the ones I do know too lol). I was told that this is stalking.

I call it research. Especially on Facebook....if someone leaves their page open, aren't they just asking for people to look at their info? In the last post, you'll note that my research saved a situation from possibly getting worse. What if I hadn't seen that the guy was engaged? What if I got involved emotionally and found out this info later? What if she came after me and I didn't even know about her?

To me stalking someone on the Internet means that I was following their every move....like who is he talking to? What does abc mean? What does xyz mean?

In this case, my research proved to work out for the best for me, but what do you think? What is your definition of Internet stalking? Is looking someone up on Facebook considered stalking?

I'm Baaaack!!!

Hey people! I've been on a bit of a break. I really couldn't bring myself to write anymore, but I'm back now!

I know I left you all with what I have heard is my "angry woman post" and I'm past that now. Here's the thing with me. This blog is where I vent and that is how I was feeling at the time. By no means am I that angry often. I'm generally a happy person. It was just too much at one time.

Since then have I endured more BS? Yes. Let me share the latest....I was going out with a guy. Good times. Only to find out later that he's engaged!! Yes, you read right! And guess how I found out...


Wait for it...









Wait for it...











Wait for it...










FACEBOOK!!!!!


Yes ladies and gentlemen, I did a little research and saw that he was engaged. I confronted him with my findings and he got mad at me!! He told me how I should know facts before I come at him, and that I need to check dates because that was old. He had been on his page quite often to update statuses and comment when people responded, but didn't remember to remove a fiancee from his page? Come on now...I'm not stupid.

Luckily, I was past being angry woman and was able to laugh at it. I calmly said (well typed because it all went down via email....oh the joys of technology ) my piece and never heard anything back. Now, I wasn't surprised by this because I hadn't expected to hear from him again. That further let me know that what I saw was true.

No biggie though, he wasn't around long enough for me to be upset or care that much. In the end, this was just a funny story to share with others.

With that being said. I'm back to blogging, but on hiatus from boys...emphasis on boys. I'm focusing on myself and what I need to do and diving into my extra curricular activities head first. Soon I'll be too busy to even care.

Are you glad that I'm back? Have you ever experienced anything like this?

I'M TIRED OF BS!!

Cue: Ne-Yo's "So Sick"

Okay, let's get right into it...I know the pic is a little harsh, but that's just how I feel right now.

Lately I've been hearing a LOT of BS (hey, my mom might read this lol) and I'm tired of it. I just wish I had a stamp with the word BULLSH*T on it, so I can just make a mark on the forehead of those that spew nonsense my way.

Now I'm sure I'm going to get a lot of grief for this, but I don't care....it needs to be heard! Guys shoot a LOT of BS on the daily! Yeah, I said it! Here are some of the key phrases I've heard lately:

~I've been busy

~I've been working

~I lost my phone that's why I haven't called you

~I have kids, or did you forget it was summer vacay? (yes, that's real)

All of this could be true, but it falls into the BS category because they were used as excuses for not responding to a text message! Those that know me know that I'm not big on texting, so I don't do the convos thru the phone like that. So that means I wasn't looking for a life story....only a response to a "hey how are you" message. Is that too much to ask? I didn't think so, so they can take that BS elsewhere!

I don't get what's so hard about being up front and honest. I can take it and still could be your friend later. I HATE being lied to and think that it's a cop-out when guys spit BS. Like seriously, we're adults, keep it real with me, because I KNOW I keep it real. This is why I surround myself with blunt friends. They keep me in line.

I saw this online and I really need to get this printed on a T-shirt and sport it at all times:



Cue: Jill Scott's "One is the Magic Number"

Sadly, I'm SO over guys right now....they are THE worst! In the mean time, I'm going to focus on me. I have some things that I'm working on, and will dive into them head first. If you feel the same way I do, I suggest that you use your energy for good and do something for yourself...or for someone else. I know I will be volunteering a lot in the next few months.

I Have a Headache: The Dating Game Chronichles

Cue: Kelis' "I Hate You So Much Right Now"

This is exactly how I feel about dating. It give me such a headache! We are all just pawns in this game of life. You would think as adults we'd grow out of the "dating games," but such is not the case. I'm truly learning that age is just a number...

We are told when growing up that our Prince Charming is going to ride up on his white horse and rescue us from our single life. Then we were told that this magic spouse that is meant for us will fall out of the sky and land in our laps and we'll live happily ever after. HA!!

I'm SO over it!! Okay okay, I'm a skeptic, but at the same time I'm working on this patience thing. I'm still a work in progress....

I'm at a loss....I have no clue what's next....When will this all end? Maybe I'll give eHarmony or Match.com a try. They've got to be better than this.

What do you think about the dating game? Are you a pawn like me? What moves are you making? When do the games end?

When Your Well Runs Dry.....

Dating is cool (sometimes), but some of you out there may be wondering what to do when there is a drought in your dating pool. I know it's been awhile since I've been out on a date, but I'm not worried. This is what I do in the meantime....and it may help you too:

CALL-A-BUDDY

You know this guy (or girl) very well. You all hang out from time to time, but there are no romantic sparks. This is just someone that's cool to hang around and you have a mutual understanding that "it's not like that." Simply....call up a platonic friend and hang!

VOLUNTEER

This kills two birds with one stone. Not only are you occupying time that is spent thinking about not dating, you can help the community at the same time. Depending on the organization, you could possibly meet some young singles with an interest similar to yours. So get out and help out!

DATE YOUR GIRLS

I'm always down for a great ladies' night! We play games, have a marathon of our favorite TV shows on DVD, hit a club or happy hour and just have a great time! This is also a great time to scope for guys while out and about.

DATE YOURSELF

What better person to spend time with than yourself?? I know that I love me some me! (Sounds conceited doesn't it? I'm really not...promise haha) I am famous for treating myself to a movie. Usually because it's something I really want to see and I don't like waiting on other people. I haven't mastered the going to a restaurant by myself yet, but I do go get some take-out (usually curbside) and sit home with a nice movie, or TV show marathon.

These are some things that worked for me, and may give you some things to think about the next time you want to go on a date.

GO GREEN!!!!

Welcome to a new era...The Green Era. Everything on TV, in ads, and just about everywhere else is about saving the environment and decreasing your carbon footprint. I'm all for doing my part and recycling and all, but there is one think I really don't want to recycle...........MEN!! Yes, I said it. I'm not mad if you do (because I have done so in the past), but it's just not for me anymore.

It seems that many guys that I've dated/gone out with/talked to in the past are around me today. That's not necessarily a bad thing, because I love people and keep my friends. All of a sudden, these throwbacks want to be serious and date exclusively. Where were you years ago when I liked you!?!?! Were you NOT standing right there when I let it be known that I liked you?? Geez!

I'm at a new place in my life. I have a new career, community service projects I'm working on, saving to make that "big purchase".....stuff like that. I'm not looking down on anyone, but I'm not at the same place I was back then. Maybe they've grown too, but I've moved on. I'm happy to be a friend, but that's about it.

My questions for you: Have you recycled any men/women you dated? How did it work out? Would you recommend it to others?

Time's A-Wastin'.....

In today's world, we are bred for impatience. Everything is fast. We have 30-minute meals, Fios, express check-out.....I blame technology! We are part of a generation that expects to see instant results.....okay I'll admit that I'm guilty of this. Sometimes I just want what I want when I want it....sue me, I'm human. I am working on this patience thing though.

Now, as I work on my patience, I have one gripe for the fellas.....DON'T WASTE MY TIME (cue E. Badu)! It's very precious to me! Story time...this guy took the time to get my number. We talk pretty regular (good conversation, he's funny) and it's hard telling if he's interested in me as a homie, or more. No biggie. We made plans to go out, but they fell through at the last minute. Again, no biggie because I don't wait around, so I made other plans. Then we made plans again, and the same thing.

While I work on being patient with people, I'm also working on forgiveness and being nice (I already am nice, but I just want to stay that way). There was no time lost in this case because I made other arrangements ....those who know me, know I go with the flow, jump in or miss the boat!

Now I'm not mad at all about the plans, but I wanted to see and hang out with him. I let it be known, he said the same. Here's my question:

Should I implement the "3 Strikes, You're out" Rule, or should I just keep him as a phone buddy?

Dating in the Workplace

Hey folks! Hope you all enjoyed your long weekend!! I'm just starting a new gig and it led me to think about dating in the workplace.

I've always been VERY against dating anyone I work with. I thought about what if it doesn't work out? Then I'd be stuck looking at that person. I also thought about the attention it could possibly bring. People might be nosy and in my business.....so I've never been a fan of dating in the workplace.

With this new job, I'm in a building with about 6,000 employees!!! What if I find a FINE brotha that wants to take me to lunch? Should I turn him down because he works in my building?

Should I relax my rule if they don't work in my office, or even my floor?? Let me know what you think....

Sparks....

I'm an avid reader of the Washington Post Magazine's Date Lab. For those of you that don't know, each week, the magazine sets up two people based on common interests from a survey they complete beforehand. The daters meet in a restaurant and get a free meal on the magazine's tab. They then write about the date and take a few pics. Then they provide an update ofter the date.

I've been reading for awhile and no one ever ends up together.....no one. Is the Post that bad at matching couples? I don't think so. I think the problem is that the daters have unreal expectations for the first date.

Most complain about the other's looks and say "He/She does not look like the type of guys/girls I usually date....." and it goes downhill from there because of the initial impression. Blind dates are hard...trust me I know. I go into them with a positive attitude. I say "Maybe I can meet a new friend if things don't work out."

Most sparks are not usually instant in couples. Ask some couples and see what they say. Sometimes it takes time to grow. Now if the guy/girl is a complete jerk, then okay, cut them loose, but I'm all about giving people chances first before I write them off.

If the person is nice, then it could develop into something special. Or maybe it could turn out to be a great movie buddy, or a restaurant buddy you want to try new places with. Hanging out does not always mean that you are a couple and have to put a title on things.....especially if you just enjoy each other's company. You never know, he/she could be your soul mate.

Keep that in mind next time you're on a blind date :-)