30 April 2010

Dating is Like...

I really hate dating. For those of you that know me, know that this is unlike me. I used to love it. It was a game. I was actually anti-relationships...which is why I've only had like 2 in my life. I don't know why, I just never saw me settling down with one person for the long haul.

In my older age, I can see it, but now it can't see me. *Cue India.Arie's "Ready for Love"*

I really wish there was a husband line or something. Where guys line up and you pick one and that's that. Or that there was a computer where you could type in a few criteria and out pops your husband....Jetsons style!! Oh how great that would be!

It would definitley take the hassle out of dating. I'm tired of it all. There is too much to do, to analyze, figure out, and worry about. I get tired just thinking about it. I'm thinking of going the same route as Jennifer Lopez's character in The Back-up Plan.

I digress...for now...

I've been talking to some of my other single gals and I am trying to remain positive, but when you think of dating, I can't help but think about it in different light.

Dating is like...A JOB INTERVIEW

Have you ever gone on a job interview and just KNEW it went well and that you'd gotten the job? Only to find that they hired someone else? Well dating is the same way. Sometimes good dates don't result in relationships. And sometimes bad dates can be used as practice for future dates. You don't let a bad interview discourage you from continuing to apply to other companies do you? Of course not! We all have bills to pay and lifestyles to maintain. Same for dating...keep applying!!!

Dating is like...DANCING

Now look at that pic...where does the dance start? What is it supposed to look like? Who knows!! Dating is like those dance steps. You never know what steps to take next. And what steps you take for one dance, may not work with another partner. And once, you change steps, you have created a new dance. Does this make sense? Well it does in my head lol.

Dating is like...CAMPAIGNING

You put your best foot forward, you advertise all of your good points in order to get the vote of the person you want to date. If you have mutual friends, you have them put in a good word (endorsements), and also try to get good feedback about the person you're dating. Sometimes you have to spend a little money and invest in the campaign (ie: buying dinner), but sometimes you can get a sponsor lol.

Those are just a few ways to look at dating. What is dating like to you? Have you looked at dating this way? What ways do you look at dating? Do you like to date?

29 March 2010

The Challenge

For those that know me...and I mean REALLY know me...know that I'm shy. This shirt says it all. I've come a long way, but there is still a lot left in me. This is especially true when it comes to dealing with guys. I'm flirtatiously challenged.

I've even been told by a few guys over the years that I suck at flirting. Really. Sad. There have been guys that I liked, but never told them or let them know that they had the opportunity to even talk to me. I've found out later that guys wanted to make a move, but I never gave them the "okay" to move ahead. Makes me wonder how many guys I really missed my chance with....

Okay let's move on before I get upset/sad. HAHA

So I was talking to my friends Michele and Marlene on Sunday and we were talking about my shyness. Basically I was told to get over it...gotta love my friends lol. It is something that I've been trying to work on, and have definitely come a long way. They did make a good point and said that like anything else, practice makes perfect. Hhhmmmm I never really practiced that before.

So that's how the challenge started. My mission is to start conversations with five random guys. It doesn't have to be anything serious, or even a guy that I'm interested in. I just have to say something flirty. Oh, I have until July 1st and then my "final exam" is with Marlene (the challenge issuer) after that, and I have to start talking to a guy and tell him my middle name (which I don't care for).

So far, I've gotten one under my belt!

Here's the scene: I'm fresh out of spin class...I'm sweaty, hair has sweated out, and I have on sweats. I needed new windshield wiper blades, so I head to the auto store in the same shopping center.

I walk in and tell the dude that I need blades and tell him what car so he can tell me the blades I need. He asks what kind I want and I told him that since he's the professional, I'll trust his judgment. He smiled. Good. Then he asked me why I was walking that way (tired) and why I had that look on my face. Spin class. He laughed and told me that he understood because he's heard how serious it is lol.

He proceeds to tell me about his gym in Wheaton (while ringing up my wiper blades) and before thanking him I told him that if he decided to switch gyms I'd see him around. He smiled and said okay.

Ran the scenario past Marlene and she said that's the idea! So one down....4 to go. I have a party to go to Saturday (that Marlene committed me to lol) and we'll see who is there. You know that I will keep you all posted!!

What do you think about the challenge? Do you think it's an attainable/reasonable goal? Do you believe practice makes perfect? How do you flirt? Do you practice it?

12 January 2010

So it's 2010....

HAPPY NEW YEAR people!!!!!! I hope you all had a safe, wonderful holiday. Mine was pretty chill. I got to see some old friends I hadn't seen in awhile...always a great time. Hard to believe that it's 2010. That means that my 10-year class reunion is on the horizon....yikes! It still baffles me that I graduated 10 years ago....wow.

The new year usually brings new change. This is the time of year where gyms get a lot more crowded, and you see more people jogging around the neighborhood...yes people are trying to stick to their infamous resolution!!

I used to make resolutions once upon a time, but I never stuck to them. I don't think now is any different. My Facebook was blowing up with statuses of people who promised to clean out friends' lists, cut off people who didn't bring positivity to thier lives, and to not deal with the samae BS. My question is this....why wait for a new year to do that? Do you actually call people and tell them "You have until December 31st to act right, or else you're cut off!" Or do you just stop dealing with a person, ignore their calls and whatnot when the new year hits? I never understood that.

Stuff like not dealing with BS and ridding your life of negativity should be an ongoing process. Who wants to deal with that crap? Not me! So at any time, a person is liable to get cut off for whatever reason. So with that, I don't believe in resolutions. I know I'm not going to the gym more. I know I need to and I'll work on that, but I'm not committing to going quite yet.

With that, I leave you with my GOALS for 2010:

#1: To be the best me I can be!! This means working on myself mentally, physically, and of course emotionally. I'm trying to work on this because I want to be a good example for my family and Girl Scouts.

#2: To leave settling to Pilgrims (Check my homegirl's article on that here) This is pretty much self-explanatory.

#3: To get over my fear and start house hunting! Yes, this seems small to some, but I really got anxiety at one point lol. I think I'm over it now.

What are you 2010 goals? Do you believe in resolutions?

11 January 2010

Let's Try This again....

Well as you remember from an earlier entry, I didn't do too well with eHarmony (I'm not posting the link...stop being lazy and scroll down lol). So at the advice of my friend, I decided to give Match.com a try. It was MUCH better than eHarmony....a lot more to choose from, more communication and responses. This is kinda lengthy, so kick back, relax and enjoy my perils of dating lol.

Have I made a connection? Nope!! That's okay. I encountered crazies my first week!

One guy, who goes by the name TruePiscean, was one of the first guys to email me. He was 37 After a few emails back and forth, I realized that a lot of his questions/comments related to sex. Now, call me old fashioned, but I don't think it's appropriate to come out of the mouth like that w/ someone you don't even know. I let him know that I didn't think that things would work, and he preceded to tell me that if I couldn't handle adult conversation, that I should try another site. I kindly told him that maybe HE is the one that needed a new site (like sexaholics.com) and that I knew plenty of adults that had way more to talk about than sex....I am one!! So he wrote back saying that I got the wrong impression of him, and he attempted to talk about other things. After the 2nd email, he went back to his roots, and I gave him the boot!

Then there was another guy that basically only wanted to ask me advice on females. That's cool with me, because I didn't find his profile appealing at all. We went back and forth for a bit, and I gave him my opinions about the questions he had. He said I helped.

I also found an old coworker on there. I knew he looked familiar, but I couldn't place the face. I sent an email, and he asked my name. When I told him, he said where I knew him from. I hadn't seen him in like 10 years lol. We talked a bit, but conflicting schedules prevented us from meeting up. I guess we both gave up.

I did go out with one guy and it was fun. Let's call him....Gary. Gary started by winking at me. For those who aren't familiar with online dating, winking is equivalent to "poking" on Facebook. Still lost? It's a way to let someone know you're interested.

I checked out Gary's profile. He looked good on paper....33, employed, no kids, never been married, we shared a few interests. Got to the pics, and he looked okay. SOmetimes pictures don't do people justice, so I took it as a good sign that I didn't cover my eyes at first glance. I winked back. He sent me an email and we chatted back and forth for a bit. He asked for my phone number. I gave it to him and he called a couple of days later. GREAT conversation! We talked for two hours, and could have easily gone for more.

Eventually, we decided to go out on a date....it was kind of a disaster, but it wasn't his fault. It was one of the funny ones.

Being Redskins fans (don't hate and keep comments to yourself!!), we agreed to meet at Jasper's in Greenbelt to watch the Redskins/Cowboys game....only to find that Jasper's closed due to a fire. So we go around the corner to a sports bar Willie K's. I'd never been there, but the service was HORRIBLE! There was an open bar table, but the bartender wouldn't bus the table. She said he'd have to do it b/c she was the only bartender and that there was only one server because they got an unexpected party of 100, so most of the staff was tending to them. Now I have a problem because other people are paying customers as well, and there was a manager that stood around and did nothing but socialize w/ people.

Anyway, I guess he was being on his best behavior because it was our first date, so he removed the stuff from the table and put it on the bar so that we'd have a clean area to sit. The service was so bad, we didn't even order there. We went down the street to Ruby Tuesday's. He apologized for the incident at Willie K's. Of course I didn't blame him. We made it just in time @ Ruby's because the kitchen was about to close. We had good conversation again, but I don't think there was anything romantic about it. We haven't talked much since then...that's cool. It was a good experience.

So yeah, I'm taking a break now....

What about you? Have you thought about trying eHarmony? Do you think I was too hard on TruePiscean? Should I have pursued things further w/ Gary? Should I try another dating site?