26 May 2009

Dating in the Workplace

Hey folks! Hope you all enjoyed your long weekend!! I'm just starting a new gig and it led me to think about dating in the workplace.

I've always been VERY against dating anyone I work with. I thought about what if it doesn't work out? Then I'd be stuck looking at that person. I also thought about the attention it could possibly bring. People might be nosy and in my business.....so I've never been a fan of dating in the workplace.

With this new job, I'm in a building with about 6,000 employees!!! What if I find a FINE brotha that wants to take me to lunch? Should I turn him down because he works in my building?

Should I relax my rule if they don't work in my office, or even my floor?? Let me know what you think....


  1. hello favorite. u know who this is. I would vote no because dating in the work place can be complicated for all the reaons you mentioned. I have experienced both pleasent and not so much. I was very hurt by having to see that person on a regular basis especially since I was front and center for his new "office" romance. I recovered from it but it took awhile. if you do choose to do it then I would keep it extra secret squirrel. you dont want it to affect your work either because of gossip or perception by your superiors.

  2. Well it depends on his maturity level. I'm sure you wont turn into a psychopath if it doesnt work out...but will he. However among 6000 people they all cant be crazy. If you decide to date a guy at work, try to only do it once. Dont wanna become the office ho. hahahahhaha. Im sure you'll make the right decision, you seem to be good at feeling people out.

  3. So far all these topics have been interesting. But me personally I haven't but definitely wouldn't be opposed to a workplace relationship. At my workplace there isn't 6,000 ppl so I'd try an keep it on the low, but at my job there are many couples. It only effects you in a negative light if you want to become a manager!

  4. Hey Angel.

    I aslo have not been a fan of office dating. But when you put it in the term that you have laid out it becomes a more comforatbale situation. I would say go for it if the departments were different or even if they worked for the same company but in a different building. But a co worker in the same department may get to be too much to handle. I've seen office romanace and it does affect you when you have an arguement at home, then you have to try to avoid it all day long while at work and sometimes it doesn't always shadow itself....making it embarrasing and uncomfortable for the couple and the other employees. Then there is always that possibility of people bein gin your business. We have a couple at my current job who are dating and some people know and they are aware of that....but then you have some people who know ....and they are not aware that they know. Sp they are walking around like they are not together but it is so obvious and the people who know are uncomfortable becaus they know and have to sensor the things they say around those two. But in theory it is not always a bad thing depending on how you look at it.

  5. Don't do it. My father always told me "Don't crap where you eat!" You are making money and supporting yourself with this job so why would you go and possibly mess that up by involving yourself with a co-worker. If it was guaranteed to work out then cool but bc of the uncertainty I wouldnt recommend it. My experience in the situation left me high and dry. I was talking to one of the supervisors at a previous job but not my supervisor. It started off as us just being movie buddies and then we made the mistake of having sex but we "SAID" we were going to leave it there and nothing else. I rarely saw her at work so I didnt think there was anyway this could go bad. I was wrong because after a month or so of us hanging out I met a someone I was really attracted to and the feeling was mutual. The first time I coldnt hang out with the supe she started acting like a jealous GF and when she saw me on a date with the young lady she made my life hell at the job. She later convinced my supervisor to let me go bc I was 5 minutes late 2 days in a row. So for all you readers my advice is to let it go and keep trying to find someone out here in the world. Or if all else fails I heard eharmony has a special going on. LOL

  6. Thanks for all of the advice! I'll take all of that into consideration!

    @ Anon - that is a WILD story!! I hope you were able to find another job. LOL @ EHarmony

  7. I say go for it IF you don't have to have constant contact with him. If you do, yes that could be difficult if you guys don't work out. Different floors is a plus =).

    When I first started at this job, within a few weeks, someone who sat 2 cubes away from me tried to holla. Me being the nice person I am, I would converse with him and we had drinks twice afterwork. But trust and believe, if you know me at all, anyone can tell you that I go for what I want and don't wait. So if all I'm doing is emailing him to keep myself occupied and 2 outings straight after work? That's nothing to me...I'd drink with a stranger. Anywho, the guy got caught up...mind you I was dating BEFORE I started the job, so I was just chillin. One day he calls me while I have company (actually I was sick and a friend was checking on me)...so I'm talking to him on the phone, but let him know I'd have to get off soon b/c I didn't want to be rude to my boy. How about later he texts me like "you having other nickas at the crib??" Ummm...dude?? You have never been over ONCE so obviously it's not that deep for me. side note: I'd never date this guy whether we worked together or not...just wasn't attracted. Anyway, to make an already long story try to be short, I let him know I wasn't interested but we could be cool. A few weeks later his WIFE calls my phone wanting to know what our RELATIONSHIP was about...i said "There IS none". Mind you in the back of my head, I'm like wtf a wife though??? Really?? Needless to say that was the end of that and I cursed him out...like how far did he think that was gonna go? What if I did like him and "It" went down?? Somebody woulda got cut, LOL...but not kidding, I don't play with shit like that. Again this dude worked 2 cubes away from me, so it made it super awkward in meetings and such. In hindsight I should have reported him to HR (where I work now, hahaha) but I was afraid since I had JUST started working here. So now...we just don't speak. I tried to address it and squash it and get a true answer from him about the wife etc (Me and her talked on the phone for about 3-4 hours total..I gave her ALL the goods), but he wanted to act immature and be an ass so I believe he still tries to kick his weak game to the newbies. Oh and yes he DOES still work here...but now we are on diff floors.