15 May 2009

Settling vs. Acceptance

I just wanted to elaborate on the last post. Yes, I say that we should not be Modern-Day Settlers, but I do think that we should accept people for who they are.

When I was younger (and my friend Michele can attest to it), I made a list of 100+ qualities I wanted in a guy. I had to be very young to have that much time on my hands LOL. Nowadays, my list is WAY shorter (and less materialistic) because a lot of what I had before didn't matter. Not to say that I wouldn't like those things, but they are not a necessity.

We're human and everyone has flaws/faults or whatever, but you have to decide things that are deal breakers. For instance, if a girl/guy wears a brand of clothing you don't like. Dating him/her does not make you a Settler. That is accepting who you are. If you have to lower your self-worth to be with this guy/girl, then it makes you a Settler.

A friend of mine said "Settling is being with someone cause you don't want to be alone or because you have been with them for so long that you go through the motion and are not happy." That is a perfect example of what I mean. Thanks T!!

I just wanted to clear things up. I'm willing to accept people, as I hope they do to me, but I won't be settling for less than what I'm worth!


  1. i hear you girl and the reality is, evrybody has some sh*t with them...its up to you what you can and can't deal with...nobody is perfect so how can a person expect that the person that are CHOOSING to be in a relationship with be perfect...no one should settle but again, the reality is some people do because they don't want to be alone- I don't at all agree with that BUT it happens. But on the other hand, how would they person that you're (not you, but i'm saying you in general) with feel if they know what you feel like you "settled" when you got with them. I would hate to find out that someone felt like they settled for me (evn tho that won't happen, b/c just like Angel, i am a excellent apple).

  2. You are SO right Mel!! You ARE an excellent apple and no one is settling for you....you are a prize!!

  3. I'm not sure if I am an excellent apple anymore. I have some damage from the things Ive experienced and like MJB says Ive got some baggage with me. I am willing to get to know people and let things go along naturally but I refuse to let go of some of the ideals I hold about the role or men women or the way things should go. love, marriage and THEN children. I dont judge people's choices but I will shy away from those who dont fit my mold. maybe I am destined to be single because I dont fit the typical role of a woman but I chose to think that one day I will meet someone who will put more value in my heart and commitment to service then to how well I cook. my worth is in my works.